0% Happiness

I'm in total Devastating Mood! I'm really not sure what is happening around me anymore and I just don't care.

Everything seems to be upside down or rather dark to me. I have moments where I am extremely depressed and a couple of times I just feel like I'm in pain from the loneliness and I'm exhausted from all the woes in this world.

I just burst into tears and I want to die there and then. So often I'm close to not feeling anything at all. Sometimes I'll end up curled into a ball on my bed and started crying. Wtf crap is this. I hate this stupid feelings. I don't feel like doing anything at the moment. There's nothing that interest me which last time I used to like it.

Ppl just keep on attacking and asking me "are u okay and all that stuff?" I'm just not sure the answer for that question. Just imagine ur very close friend ask u "Hey are u alrite?" when deep inside my heart, Im not feeling okay at all and I just don't know how to pour it all out. It's all inside my heart. Most of the time it's causing me heartache and I don't know how to treat it. But I will answer the question "im okay. thx for askin" with a smile on my face when it is so hard, painful and heavy to put up that smile. I just know I have to smile and say Im okay :)

People have no idea what they said could have hurt my feelings so much that may not even heal properly. It might seems like a simple and reckless things for them to say but it's a great matter for me. I take things seriously when things really is a serious one!

I dont get it. Why people could have done this to me? What have I done to make them to react in such a way? I feel it's so unfair sometimes. In the end, it's my feelings that get hurt everytime. I beg for u ppl to be plz more considerable, courteous and have kind heart. I really can't take it anymore. How I wish I dont have emotion. It's eating me from inside.

I just wish everything is gonna be okay. I really need mighty God and miracles at this moment. Plz God. Plz Help Me..

From ur helpless soul.